Writing the Perfect Dating App Bio for Someone that’s Never been on one

Hint: umm, me :-)

After a parting of the ways of a long term relationship, I’m being encouraged by some friends that I need to get with the program and jump on a dating app. Well, multiple apps apparently.

‘It’s easy’ they say — ‘you just write a few interesting things about yourself, the kind of person you’re interested in, upload a few photos and you’re set to go!’
‘… set to go…’ Yeah right :-D

As someone that’s not huge on the idea of self promotion to the wider world on personal matters, this ‘it’s easy’ comes across as being a bit more involved. So I’ve asked them for help (beyond the many articles here on Medium that I’ve read) putting it back onto them to help write the perfect dating bio. What would they write about me? I asked and received the following observations:

‘You’re a total Barn Find’ said one of my American friends. I think I understood what she meant but sought clarification -

‘You’ve been out of public viewing for two decades. You’re covered in dust but are in excellent shape and with a clean up, you’re the classic car everyone drools over and auctioneers love’

Hmmm